RED Hearts: Facebook For A Broken Heart

RED Hearts are guest posts on I Heart Daily from the authors of RED: Teenage Girls in America Write On What Fires Up Their Lives Today Today's RED Hearts post is from Sam Lewin, 20, reporting from NYC, who uses her facebook status updates to get over a break-up:

"No longer listed as in a relationship" lingers on my Facebook profile. It reminds me of my new single status, sure, but also the one thing my broken heart can do about it -- celebrate.

Alone this Valentine's Day? Who cares? Evidently not you. You'll be utilizing a socially acceptable means to prove to the world and yourself that you're fine -- better than fine. Go and post those pictures of your carefree antics, that cute like-a-brother buddy (who your former boyfriend didn’t happen to meet) with his arm casually slung around your shoulder (a loving gesture he never thought to extend to you), and guess what? Our exes will have to take it.

No, it’s not the straightest or most selfless route to saving face, but that's the beauty of Facebook, isn't it? We use Facebook to report on our lives in a space where narcissism is glorified, where, however “it’s complicated,” we’re expected to assert our extraordinary vibrancy and fun-loving character.

See, somewhere in my heartache I realized that communicating via status or pics has the unique quality of appearing non-specific, i.e., not directed at my ex. The insecurity in my voice remains hidden beneath seemingly thoughtless announcements to an anonymous empty abyss. Awesome isn't it?

Just remember that the virtual land of masked passive aggression, like anything else, has its two-way roads. Be aware that your ex wields the same power of profile and just might reciprocate for your lonely heart to see. And if you dare break social barriers by bringing this data out of cyberspace and into conversation -- and he dares say that the new pics were “my girlfriend’s idea” and he never gave it a second thought -- well, you’ll have to take it.

But don't be bitter. I'm not. As my Facebook friends can plainly see, I never lost my composure.


RED Hearts guest poster Sam Lewin is an author of RED: Teenage Girls in America Write On What Fires Up Their Lives Today, which is now out in paperback.