JUST KIDDING! Today is just not "Friday," it's FRIDAY, meaning The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1 opens today. For those of you living under a big, gigantic rock, this is where things get juicy (hello! Vampire baby!). To honor this occasion, we're listing the most random pieces of Twilight merchandise we've come across over the years. Enjoy!
♥ Life Size Body Pillows (pictured). Disclaimer: these are from last year and -- gasp -- sold out, but let's take a moment to admire the creepiness of these weird, blobby body pillows. If you feel the need to cuddle up with a human-sized, stuffed Edward Cullen. Well, okay.
♥ Edward Cullen Shower Curtain. Oh look... it's a shower curtain with a huge silhouette of Edward on it. Wow.
♥ Life Size Edward Cullen Wall Decal. As if a shower curtain weren't enough, now you can have the same sexy silhouette of Edward in any room of your house. I'm sure mom and dad will love this in the dining room. Dinner guest!
♥ Twilight: Eclipse Jacob Black Life Size Standee. Keeping in theme with all this "life size" stuff, for those on Team Jacob, you can have a cardboard cut out of Taylor Lautner standing up in your room, your bathroom or in geometry class. Weirdly, he is not shirtless.
♥ Twilight Condom. Looks like Edward and Bella didn't use one of these.
♥ Twilight Band Aids. For when those vampire love bites draw blood.
♥ Twilight Toilet Paper. If you want to take your love for Twilight to another level, you can get really up close and person with this printed toilet paper. (This is so wrong.)
♥ Twilight Pillow Covers. Go to bed snuggling up to these cushions emblazoned with Edward's face and Breaking Dawn logo. Wake up with drool on his face.